If there is one quintessential aspect that defines what it is to be alive, it’s wanting. Constant wanting. I want, you want, he and she and they want. We all want.

What do we want?

We want pleasurable things and enjoyable experiences, of course. We want safety and happiness for ourselves and our loved ones, and at the same time we want to move away from suffering and boredom and pain.

Much of our lives and the events that make them up can be sorted into these two categories: moving toward pleasure, and moving away from pain.

The issue, of course, is that no sooner do we acquire that pleasurable thing or experience, than we are bored by it. The pleasure that it delivers is fleeting, and in a matter of weeks or days or even seconds after we get that thing, we move on to want something else.

And so the cycle continues… endlessly.

“The warmth of the sun feels wonderful on your skin, but soon it becomes too much of a good thing. A move to the shade brings immediate relief, but after a minute or two, the breeze is just a little too cold. Do you have a sweater in the car? Let’s take a look. Yes, there it is. You’re warm now, but you notice that your sweater has seen better days. Does it make you look carefree, or disheveled? Perhaps it’s time to shop for something new. And so it goes…”

— Sam Harris

You need only be in the presence of an infant for a few moments before you observe the constant oscillation between joy and sorrow that washes over their features from minute to minute. In truth, as adults we’re subject to the same ceaseless tides, but we know how to control our outer form so as to hide the oscillation (for the most part). But that does nothing to stop this constant wanting, wanting, wanting. Something new. Something different. Something pleasurable. Something fun. Something to look forward to on the weekend.

It’s exhausting, when you think about it. And yet that is who we are at our core—wanting beings, motivated to satiate our thirst for pleasure and to flee from pain, suffering, and boredom.

How do we opt out? We can’t really. But there are things that help.

One of the most conducive practices, I find, is meditation. There are many forms, but the one that I find most helpful is to sit comfortably and close your eyes. Breathe slowly and evenly. Begin to repeat silently in your mind a mantra or mind tool to capture your attention and let your mind relax. I find the most useful mantra is “let go.” Just silently say “let go,” to yourself, and while doing so, let go of the ceaseless thoughts that naturally arise in your mind. Be a rock in the river of thought.

Don’t try to stop your thoughts -- that is a futile task. Acknowledge them as they arise, but don’t engage. Just let them drift away.

When you find yourself engaging with a thought, don’t get frustrated--that’s a natural occurrence. Just calmly disengage. Let go of the thought and return to the mantra.

How does this help with the constant desiring that we inevitably experience? I find that meditation—this act of disengaging from our thoughts and concerns—is very similar to the disengagement that we need to employ with our desires. Instead of constantly looking forward to that thing or event or time in the future that will “make everything better,” you can try to enjoy the present. Be in the now.

Find the simple pleasure in what you’re doing now, like reading a blog post, educating your mind, finding a good piece of advice. Give the gift of your full attention to whatever you are engaged in.

It’s a process, and it will never really be perfect, but I find the more we employ meditative practices like this, the less we are consumed with our desires. It also helps us be more enmeshed in the present moment, as opposed to pining for some moment in the past or future that seems more optimal.

Best of luck with it.